Before, I know that he’s the only one for me. I know that I don’t need anyone else except form him. But I don’t know why we kept on arguing, I don’t know what the hell is happening with our relationship that I want to give up soon.

I made a promise not to leave him and that we will grow old together but I really don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep that promise. I love him. I love him to death but why do things have to be so complicated for the both of us. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I just want to cry at the moment :(

(Source: sing-stop-and-stare)

Oh yeah and now I’m losing my appetite in what I’m doing. In Filipino term, “nauumay na ako”. It’s been 1 month and a half of working but what I comes into my mind is very different from what is happening. I thought it’ll be easy because all I need to do is sit down, answer the phone, and transfer the call. And when I wan still a trainee, I just play it comfortably. No pressure and just fun. But when travel pod is over, everything seems a night mare (for me). My pod is separated from my team. I really really feel isolated :( I don’t have the same schedule with them. I eat alone, I went home alone. Most of the customer are RUDE. But some are not. And when they become rude, they really turn out into a monster. And the saddest part is that every call is RECORDED. So I still need to be patient even no matter how rude the customer is. Ans since I’m alone in my pod, I can’t even talk to my team mates. My golly this job is so tiring :(

My home is 2 hours away from my office because my office is in the city. My work shift is 10pm to 8am and usually I leave home at exactly 7pm to avoid the traffic. I only have 6 hours of sleep EVERYDAY (except on my Rest day). So I tend to sleep a LOT when it’s my RD.

I don’t know but I became frustrated and I’m not enjoying it.